True Love - Neil Asher

Neil Asher - are you in a relationship?

I am, I have a very different view of relationships to most people and today I’d like to share with you some of my beliefs about relationships and what the purpose of them is.

The purpose of all relationships is to dissolve the barriers that keep us from recognizing the love that already is and expressing the love we ultimately are.

We each have a hierarchy of values; from the things we think are extremely important, all the way down to the things we think don’t matter. Your values dictate your destiny. Anything that supports your highest values you call “good” and are attracted to; anything that challenges them you call “bad” and are repelled by.

Your values are based on the perception that something is missing, that a void exists. But the Law of Conservation says that nothing is missing, it’s just in a form you haven’t recognized. You think you’re missing it; therefore, you seek it, and anything you think supports that search you call good and anything that challenges it you call bad.

Our values determine the way in which we conduct our relationships.

There are three ways to conduct a relationship, and each one has an entirely different outcome.

A careless relationship is one in which you project and focus on your own values without considering your partner at all.

A careful relationship is when you think in terms of your partners values without considering you own.this one is called “walking on eggshells”. Both are one-sided approaches that ignore the other person and create tension in the relationship.

But a caring relationship is one where you communicate your values in terms of theirs. You think of both sides simultaneously, expressing your love for yourself and each other. The definition of caring is knowing someone well enough to know their values and caring enough to express your values in terms of theirs. Whenever something supports your values, you take away the rules, and when something challenges your values, you set rules. Nations do it, companies do it and you do it in relationships. You set up rules when your values feel threatened.

Often when we’re in a relationship, we unwisely think the other person is supposed to be like us but if any two people are exactly the same, one of them is unnecessary. The purpose of a relationship is to teach us to love the parts we’ve disowned. Each person has their own set of values and no two people have the same set.

Each person expresses love through his or her own values. When we honor our partners value system, we realize that we’re surrounded by love in forms we don’t even recognize. The power to transform your life is in your heart. You only need the courage to open it.

with much warmth

Neil Asher